Shroud of Guilt
by AphoticTrance
Summary: It was five months ago. Eddward has been trying to recover ever since. But his insomnia worsens each day, to the point he no longer sleeps. His mind soon deteriorates, and the nightmares unfold even when he's conscious. And each day they worsen to the point he can no longer evade them.
1. Chapter 1

Shroud of Guilt

Eddward screamed as he writhed in his bed; awakening from his slumber. He clawed at his scalp before realizing he was awake. His screams died and he remained trembling underneath his covers. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead, and his garment damply clung to his body.

'_It was only a dream…'_

His eyes stared vacantly into the distance, still very shocked from his dream.

Moments later his grandfather clock came to life, it's vibrant chimes resonated through his room and out into his empty hallway.

He counted each stroke, then sighed as the last stroke chimed.

Once again, it was 3:00 am.

His insomnia was beginning to worsen. Even through mind-numbing research, he couldn't find anything to alleviate it.

He sighed deeply, and placed his feet on the floor. Burying his face within his palms. He took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm himself before any physical exertion.

'_It was only a dream, Eddward. A figment of your own imagination.' _

He reopened his eyes, and slowly rose to his feet; his bony legs popping as they strained to stand correctly.

Once stood, he added in a thorough stretch, then he started his routine for mornings.

He rearranged his sheet covers, ensuring it was neatly spread out. Then fluffed his pillow, making it look new and plump. But as he finished, he noticed unsightly wrinkles within the covers.

He furrowed his brow at the blemish. It was unacceptable, added to that, it was a nuisance.

He muttered softly to himself as he inserted the plug for his iron. Once it activated, he pressed down on his bed, removing each flaw. Then he examined it, ensuring nothing else was there to blemish it.

After ensuring his bed looked appealing, he made his way towards his closet. Having obtained a towel, his loofah, he then entered the hallway.

Making his way to his bathroom, he went inside and placed down his towel by the sink.

After stripping down, he entered the shower and began bathing. Scrubbing himself free of dirt and dried sweat.

A good hour and a half later, he exited the shower and began drying himself with the towel.

First patting down his hair, then making his way down to his feet. Once he was completely dry, he tied the towel to his waist then made his way back into his room.

He entered his closet once again, and picked out his clothes. A blue plaid shirt, a black saggy beanie with white stripes, and black baggy jeans.

Before he shut away the contents, a beanie caught his eyes. Upon further inspection, he realized it was his oldest one. The one he wore all the time in his youth.

Eddward had crept a grin, but it disappeared and he closed his eyes. He put it back and shunned it away. It gave him bittersweet memories, some he'd prefer to keep locked away.

As he closed the closet, he remained idle for a few moments. The sight of it grieved him; he had been keeping it away in the depths of his mind, but now it resurfaced, along with the lamentation which followed.

'No…I won't do it….'

He disengaged a thought from his mind, and left his room. Making his way down the hall and into the kitchen. He turned on the lights, illuminating the interior. Then he picked out a bag labeled 'Insta-Coffee!' from a nearby cupboard.

This generic brand coffee wasn't too bad for Eddward's taste, but it wasn't that good either. He only drank it once in a while when he lacked the intention to make real coffee.

He poured the mixture within the coffee maker then switched the button. Immediately afterwards the coffee maker hummed and a dark brown liquid began leaking into the flask.

He then pulled out a small wooden stool, it's legs grinded in protest against the tile, and he eased into the seat then waited.

He kept his mind busy with other things as the flask continued filling. A few minutes later he resurfaced as the flask was completely full. He grabbed a mug then poured in his coffee. He replaced the flask and then eased into his seat.

The mug steamed with the dark liquid, and as he began sipping from it, Ed emerged from his dark living room in his peripheral vision.

His eyes darted and he seized from movement. Nothing, save the darkness, was there.

He breathed once again and relaxed his stiff muscles.

He realized his feet was on the floor, as if ready to defend himself. And surprisingly, he hadn't spilled any of his coffee.

'_It's okay….Eddward, you're alright…_'

He took a few more deep breaths.

'_you're just seeing things….'_

"It's not like I can help it…"

He spoke, as if replying to another sentient being. For a moment, he almost laughed. It would've been funny to him, but right now humor evaded him. This was serious for him. He was beginning to see things for a while now, and he knew it was due to his lack of sleep.

Eddward sipped from his mug once more, and sat back down. The coffee was still unbelievably hot, it actually burned as it seeped down his throat. But he wasn't discouraged, he was trying to shift his mind towards something else.

And the coffee was actually aiding him, though the aid was very limited.

He began sipping more, when he heard the carpet in his living room very softly groan, as if someone was walking.

He slowly turned his head towards it, peering into the darkness. Waiting for any movement.

Goosebumps were beginning to settle within the back of his neck. His eyes adjusted, and a dark silhouette materialized. It's eyes just barely visible.

A harsh gasp escaped Eddward's lips as he fell from the chair, his mug shattering as it hit the tile and the coffee spilling everywhere.

Edd threw himself back unto his feet and glanced back over to where he saw the figure.

No longer was it there.

He hurried into the darkness and threw on the light switch. He began looking around, but nothing was there. Only his furniture, and it remained untouched.

He shook his head then hurried out, he entered his hall and went into the bathroom.

He turned on the faucet and splashed cool water on his face. Moments later he turned it off and gripped the sink, he was trembling uncontrollably. He tried inhaling and exhaling through his nose, but his breathing was erratic.

'_It's not real…you just need more sleep…'_

Once again, the voice in his head attempted to calm him down.

"How do we go about that then?"

Edd replied once more.

'_I don't know, I'm just trying to suggest some things…'_

"I appreciate the advice, however it lacks in facilitating my complications…"

He spoke once more, but no reply. He couldn't believe he was resorting to his own mind. And even more, it was replying as a sentient being. He sighed, and shook his head. Questioning the stability of his own mentality.

"Double D"

A soft, harsh whisper escaped, seizing his muscles and widening his eyes. Then, his muscles at his left side began to prickle, as if sensing a presence. He immediately scrambled out of the bathroom, and back into the living room.

'It's not real! It can't be!'

He went into a corner and cringed away. No one ever called him by that name, and there was few left alive that remembered it. He hugged his knees close to his chest and rocked slowly back and forth.

'_You know it's false. It cannot be true. You know this…'_

'Then why? Why is it haunting me?'

'_you don't remember?'_

'I never wanted to! Stop!'

'_He died five months ago. You saw it happen. In fact, you blame yourself…'_

"No! Stop!"

Edd screamed as he began to claw at his scalp.

'_You were with him. He died in that accident but you didn't…'_

Tears ran down his face, and he squeezed himself closer.

'_Eddward….You know it was him. He was killed instantly in that car accident Five months ago.'_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So, Eddward, you said previously before you're suffering from insomnia?"

Edd nodded. Then laced his fingers and locked them into a knot.

"yes…"

"Is it worsening?"

"yes it is, I'm no longer capable of maintaining three to four hours of sleep now…"

Edd thought it was quite obvious now. Dark bags hung low underneath his eyes, and he seemed to gaze off whenever introduced to an extended amount of discussion.

"hmm…."

Dr. Stall leaned back into his chair, his interest increasing as Edd explained his troubles.

"Tell me, do you see any hallucinations of some sort? Colors? Shadows moving?"

"Well…I've begin witnessing things in my peripheral vision now."

"Do they come in contact with you in any way?"

"He does not…"

"He? Is he the one that-"

"Yes doctor…."

Stall leaned onto his knees with his elbows, and began pondering his patient's predicament.

"You've tried sleeping medication?"

"Yes…but it effectiveness decreased greatly after a short span of time…"

"Was the medication a generic brand? One you could find at a local drug store?"

Edd sighed, he could predict what he was going to do. Prescribe a medication which effectiveness was greater than the whole bunch, and the results may be better.

He could already see him drop the container on the desk, and give some poor excuse to why it's better than the rest.

"Yes, I believe so…"

Edd responded. He then confirmed his prediction when Dr. Stall began to dig in his desk, then pulled out sheet of paper.

"I'm going to prescribe to you a medication which has been proven quite useful for treating insomnia. You said your trouble was remaining asleep?"

"Yes…"

Eddward's hope was becoming flaccid as Dr. Stall picked out a black pen from his breast pocket, and with a click, began writing down his prescription papers.

"Now, I need to inform you, some side-affects of this medication may include nausea, temporary vision loss, and diarrhea. You are of age twenty-four, Correct?"

"Yes sir…"

"Alright, you shouldn't have to worry about those then."

Edd shifted around in his seat, then glanced over to his left, watching the outside world.

"If I may ask, you middle name was Marian, correct?"

"correct…"

After a few minutes, his pen clicked and Stall rearranged his shirt collar. Edd noted he'd do that once he was out of an uncomfortable position. Or rub his chin while currently in one. Stall then put the medication within a small Ziploc bag and sealed it, then handed both his papers and medication.

"Inform me if any changes occur. Or if the medication proves to be of no use."

"I will. Thank you Dr. Stall, and good-bye…"

"I'll see you Eddward…"

In this case, Edd thought he would be. He had his doubts about this new medication, he might as well have not come. But he couldn't judge a book by it's cover.

He closed the door behind him and continued down the hall and made his way to the main lobby. He pushed open the doors to the outside and left the medical building behind him.

He trekked through the partially vacant parking lot and approached his car. He glanced down in his hand at his new medication, the container was a light blue, but transparent. And by first glance, the pills seemed a shade darker, and they were smaller in size. He presumed they were red or maybe even blue.

He then stopped at his car, and fished for his keys within his pocket. Once in hand, he pressed a button and he heard the locks click.

He pulled opened the door climbed inside, then placed down his meds and papers on the passenger seat.

He twined his key within the ignition and the car activated, soon beginning a soft hum and vibration, making it known it was alive and well. He locked his seat belt across his body, and shifted the car into drive.

Then with some pressure unto the pedal, his car eased forward.

He spun the wheel, turning the car to the left and made his way out of the lot.

As he waited for a clearance at the exit, he saw movement within his rear-view mirror.

He turned behind him, facing the back seat. Nothing too special. He wasn't expecting much now, the occurrence that happened a few days ago hasn't come back since.

So he's been feeling some relief. A car behind him then struck it's horn at him, he resurfaced to the world, then ensured it was clear to move. Edd then waved his hand as an apology as he drove off.

'_Seeing things Eddward?'_

Edd slightly furrowed his brow with brief annoyance.

"Hello voice, I didn't give much thought towards your return…"

'_Oh? You thought I left? Why, that's silly. I am a part of you. I hope you know that…'_

"Unfortunately I do…"

Edd pulled up at an intersection, then activated his right blinker.

'_presumably irritated, I only speak to aid you…'_

"Do you? As I recall, the last time you spoke to me, you were reminding me of the times I was lowest in life."

'_Indeed, you were. But I did what I thought was necessary.' _

"Necessary? So it was a necessity to demonstrate my biggest mistake in life?

'_I don't believe you caught my meaning…'_

Edd spun the wheel as the light shifted green.

"No, I don't. Now, if you don't mind, I'm driving."

'_My apologies, I expected a little too much from you. I guess you still have a ways to go..'_

"What do you mean? What did you expect?"

'_I expected you to see the reality. But I begin to see it was much too early…'_

"Reality? What, you were attempting to resurface myself through a reality check? I'm confident that dealing with a tragic event and with insomnia already sent me a reality check. That life isn't a fantasy, or a cartoon."

'_No. You misunderstand. The reality of the accident. But explaining any more will prove to be to no avail.' _

"The accident? What more is their to say!? I was-"

'_There is nothing more to say. But there is more to reveal. I will see you soon..'_

"What? You have nothing to reveal! I already-"

Eddward stopped talking, knowing the voice wouldn't reply. He shook his head.

'What more is there to show? I know what happened. I lived through the damned thing.'

Edd gripped the wheel with annoyance; stopping at another intersection. Eddward was quite angry with himself. He couldn't believe he was arguing with his own mind. But it was the fact that his mind is trying to tell him about what he knows about the accident is wrong.

How could it know? If they're separate, how could it possibly know even more than him? He shook his head once more. Then breathing calmly as he attempted to cool off.

Eddward then noticed he took the wrong turn for his departure home, he didn't recognize the street. He took a glance at the street name. Juniper.

His eyes widened and his mouth agape. The accident took place on Juniper. Edd immediately shot his head towards the other street name.

'Juniper and-!' 4th street.

Juniper and 4th street. The point where everything in his life went spiraling downwards.

'No…the bastard didn't…'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Anxiety surged through Eddward's body. His muscles began trembling, and sweat already saturated his forehead. He started attempting to calm down with a couple breathing techniques, but it was to no avail.

'Get out…I can't be here…'

Without thinking, he shifted into reverse, backing up and rotating a few degrees. Shifted back into drive, he lurched forward. Turning left into the other side of the road. He slammed his foot down and his car picked up speed exponentially. Then the lights ahead shifted red, and the cars in front halted.

He threw the wheel to the left, dodging the stationary cars as several horns blared as he blew through the red lights.

Once he was out of harms way, he immediately lifted his foot from the floor of the car and it began it's descent in speed.

He recollected his conscious, and once again took more deep breaths. He didn't know why he continued on trying with his breathing techniques, regardless of his situation, it never seemed to help.

He pulled over to the side and killed the engine of his car. He placed his arms on top of the wheel, and rested his head among them. A sheen of sweat layered his forehead.

'I need air…'

He unloosened his belt and swung open the door nearest to him. He made his way to the sidewalk, but his legs gave way, and he fell to his knees.

"umm…sir?"

A voice emerged from his left. He glanced over, and struggled to rise to his feet. An extended hand wrapped around his arm and helped picked him up from the ground.

The hand loosened it's grip and released his arm. Eddward then leaned up against a building wall.

"Are you okay sir? Do you need any more help?"

A young man questioned. Eddward held up his hand.

"Thank you for your kindness. But please, I request no further assistance. I'm fine, I really am. I-I just needed some air…"

"Are you sure? I can call someone for you…"

"I'm fine…believe me…"

Eddward knew his story was falling short on terms of convincing him, and he knew the young man, possibly younger than him, wasn't buying his act. But to his surprise, the young man nodded and began stepping back.

"alright sir…"

He hesitantly walked away, feeling a small amount of apprehension as he continued off.

Eddward sighed with relief. the unwanted attention was beginning to unnerve him. He slid down unto the ground, and started to calm himself. His escape went without plan. And by luck, he didn't collide with any cars. But he was still stunned from it all.

'I can't believe it lead me there….'

He remained sitting onto the sidewalk, still trying to regain his composure after it.

After quite some time, he recollected his posture, and took a deep breath.

Without another thought, he entered his car before he could draw any more attention.

The car key twined within the ignition and was alive once again. And soon the car departed.

Eddward just focused on getting home, he wanted to forget about what just happened. His anxiety attack, his discussion with his own mind, everything. He just wanted to be home. And maybe even rest, but resting came with a price.

He could be dead tired, yet he wouldn't fall asleep. Or he could easily fall into slumber, but he would wake within three to four hours.

He sighed at the thought, but continued on.

He arrived home, parking in his driveway. The engine died and he removed himself from his car, along with his medication. He pressed on his lock button twice, and the car chirped.

He approached his home with his key drawn, and with a twist, the lock clicked and he eased the door open. He closed it behind himself then locked it once more.

He removed his shoes and walked to the couch, where he sat down and sighed. At first, he was in thought about the events which occurred today, but then he discharged those thoughts and relaxed.

After a moment or two, he glanced over to his hand, which still carried the meds he was given. He then gave it a thorough examination.

Instructions stated he needed to take two before his bedtime, then roughly after five to six days, sleeping patterns should change. Of course, he didn't believe it would work. Though, regardless of it's effectiveness, he was sure that he was going to at least try them.

He placed the medication back onto the couch, then began rising onto his feet. Once erect, he made his way into the hallway; stopping by the bathroom. He peered inside, while moving, he caught something in his peripheral vision once again.

With a quick sigh, he continued on. He entered his room, checking on the time. It was around 6:30 pm when he was scheduled to visit his doctor. And by the time he came home, it was past sundown. Currently, it was 9:37.

He didn't expect today to unfold the way it did, he'd much prefer it hadn't. He was already stressed as is, adding more could possibly have it's consequences. As if Insomnia wasn't already.

He began to change into his sleep wear. He usually went to bed around 10 pm, or at least tried to that is. He hoped the pills would help lengthen his sleep, or do something to aid him.

He then made his way down the hall and back into the living room. Having picked up his meds, he traced his steps back his room. Where he sat on the side of the bed, and stared at the container.

'I hope this works…'

Giving the cap a twist, it soon came loose. And he dropped two of the small red pills unto his hand. He tilted back his head and let the pills drop; swallowing them.

He screwed the cap back on and placed it on the small drawer next to his bed. He lied down, after growing comfortable, he shut his eyes.

At first, nothing happened. He just laid there, almost motionless. Just waiting for anything to happen. But as time crawled forward, he slowly slipped away. And finally, sunk into unconsciousness.

His eyes opened within a dream. He was currently standing, dressed rather formal for an occasion unknown.

But as he began to recognize his surroundings, darkness crept upon the people with him.

Heads turned unto him, with faces twisted with scorn and hate as they all spoke, mocking him, reminding him of what he did. He backed away, but the crowd grew restless and pursued him with horrific intentions. But he didn't seek refuge, but he lowered his head and shut his eyes, waiting for the punishment.

But as nothing happened, he reopened his eyes to find no one there, but a tombstone. Immediately he wanted to look away, but his eyes stared at the name etched in the white marble. His breathing became erratic, and he desperately wanted to flee.

Whispers began to cloud his mind, some inaudible of what they spoke of, but others he hears clearer than ever.

'You killed me…'

'You can't escape your guilt…'

'Salvation is lost…'

A shadow then grew from behind him, Eddward refused to turn his head. But he could feel it's presence behind him, fear was beginning to surge through his body.

'Eddward…'

'No! stop! Stay away!'

He immediately fled from the creature. Tears began to pour from his eyes, and he eventually fell to his knees. He squeezed the ground and he sobbed bitterly.

'I'm sorry…'

His gaze drifted upwards, into the eyes of a friend who died from him.

Eddward woke up screaming, and he begun to claw at his scalp once again. His voice died, and he was shaking with fear. His fingernails bled, and tears welled into his eyes as he squeezed his hands into fists, despite the immediate sting of pain. He began to sob bitterly, and he hugged his knees and gently rocked himself.

"I'm so sorry…"

His clock chimed, each stroke sounded off in unison. It was 11:00 pm.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Eddward remained completely motionless, even as time slowly crawled away. His mind was vacant, and his expression blank.

Days he hadn't slept, not since the last incident; for he had great fear of even more nightmares erupting, ones that could be worse.

Sunlight began to creep it's way through his open curtains, and his grandfather clock expectedly chimed.

6:00 am, but he didn't move. He was but a hollow shell now, that is, until something had awoken him from his deep state of mind.

Then, his door bell had summoned him from his room, the drawn out ring resounding through his empty hallways and rooms.

But he remained still, not even knowing such a thing even occurred. But after a second ring, the sound reached his ears and resurfaced his mind.

For a moment, he glanced around, but soon he picked himself from his floor and made his way into the hall, still partially absent. Though present enough to know someone requested his presence.

He arrived at his door; discharging the locks, he eased it back. It was opened to a woman, Ms. Kree. She was his neighbor, and in her late forties, however that didn't keep her from nosing into things she thought to be interesting.

Her face filled with surprise as she had seen what had become of Eddward, he was deathly pale, and he appeared barely capable of any exertion. It seemed he was already exhausted due to him opening his door.

"E-Eddward!? My Lord! What has happened to you?"

He attempted a smile, but failed, his lips barely even formed a grin.

"Pardon me, Ms. Kree, but…I've been, not well in these last days…"

"Is it the insomnia? Dear Lord, I thought it was a small spell! I'm in need to say sorry, I never knew it'll grow to be this bad!"

"M-Ms. Kree, this is hardly your fault, it is mine alone."

"Oh no. Don't go blaming yourself Edd. Here, lemme go to my house, an' I'll get something to help…"

Edd rose his hand in an effort to stop her.

"Please Ms. Kree. I-I'm-"

"Don't go saying you're fine. That would have lies written all over it, just wait here a moment an' I'll be back."

She scurried over their conjoining yards, but soon disappeared within her house. A sigh escaped his chapped lips as he sunk to the ground.

He glanced down at his hands, examining them. His fingernails had grown excessively, and dirt could be seen underneath them; he grimaced at his unsightly features.

He pondered at the extent of his indifference towards himself, usually, he was abnormally stringent about maintaining his hygiene.

This would've been one of his worst nightmares, but due to recent alterations in his life, it was difficult to keep up with the pace of everyday routines.

As he continued examining other mishaps, Ms. Kree made her way back over and called out to him.

"Eddward, please come inside!"

He exchanged looks with her. She was standing at the foot of his driveway.

"Ms. Kree, this really isn't-"

"Stop lollygagging and come on!"

She wouldn't take no as an answer, so with another sigh, he picked himself from the ground and followed her inside her house.

As he stepped in, he looked around at the features inside. The fashion was quite retro; aged sofas, coffee tables, dinner tables and much of everything else was fairly quaint.

He could also see she had a tendency of burning incense, several burnt out ones was discarded in a small bin, but another stick was hung up and was currently burning.

"please seat yourself…"

Ms. Kree spoke as she went into her kitchen and ran the faucet water. Eddward felt rather awkward as he eased into one of the many chairs. She came back empty-handed,

"I'm making tea, hope you like it…"

"Ms. Kree, I appreciate your kindness, but I…..I wish you hadn't trouble yourself for me…"

"Oh, poppycock. You're a good neighbor. I have to pay you back in someway…"

She gave him a light smile, but it disappeared as a silence grew between them. Moments later she broke it, as she went on to a more pressing matter.

"I've noticed some things, some changes. And you say it is insomnia, and I believe you, don't get me wrong, but I feel you have something else as well…"

Edd glued his eyes to the floor and locked his hands together.

"You're very kind, Ms. Kree. And I'm grateful for what you're doing. But some things are better left unsaid. So I ask, that you to stop questioning my life."

She sighed, fully expecting this answer.

"I knew you wouldn't want to say anything about it, but I just want to let you know, I only do this to help…"

"Yes, I'm aware of that. And I'm very grateful. B-But please, I'd rather not speak of this any further."

Then silence fell among them. Eddward kept his glance to the floor, hiding his emotion. While Ms. Kree looked upon him with sorrow.

'Poor child. Already suffering through life at this young age..'

The kettle in the kitchen began to whistle, screaming at her the tea had finished. She made her way back, removing the kettle from the stove top, it's screams died down, and she poured two cups of piping hot tea.

She returned to her visitor with the cups in hand, offering one with a smile. He returned the smile with a slight grin, accepting the offer.

She eased into a chair opposite from him, and for a short while, they sipped their tea in silence. But soon, Eddward rose his voice and spoke.

"Ms. Kree, you said you had something to give me? To aid with my problems?"

She smiled.

"You're drinking it now."

"Oh…thank you, once again…"

"no problem at all, it's actually calms your nerves and can act as a sleeping aid…"

Once again, he gave a failed attempt at a smile, seemingly acknowledging it's usefulness. Though it sounded just like the rest to his ears, and he expected the just about the same.

After some time of small talk, Eddward finished his cup and returned it to her.

"Once again, Ms. Kree, thank you."

"Oh, before you leave…"

She went back into the kitchen, but soon after came back out with a box.

"Take this…"

She handed it to him, it was a box of the same tea she had just served him.

"Ms. Kree, I can't…"

"Take it Eddward, you need it more than I do…"

He was defeated yet again; he accepted the box and spoke once more.

"Thank you…Ms. Kree. I'll be sure to pay you back in some way-"

"Oh, poppycock. You don't owe anything unto me…"

Eddward was outside when he they said their final words to each other. She smiled at him one last time, but she was soon gone behind her closed door. Eddward made his way back to his home, somewhat relieved he was now away from her house. He didn't find her to be irritating, it was just an awkward situation.

He peered down at his new item in hand, the tea had been quite flavorful, and he wouldn't mind drinking it, he just didn't think it would prove to be any different from the rest of the things he had tried to help alleviate his insomnia.

He entered his house and swung the door closed, locking it behind him.

He set down the tea box unto his countertop, then went into his living room, where he eased into his own sofa.

He spent quite some time thinking alone, but since no one was there to accompany him, his thoughts would soon remind him of his now ever growing problem.

He often tried to discharge these thoughts, but they would return more frequently.

In an attempt to clear his mind, he rose to his feet and wandered around his house. He was indifferent towards his destination, all he wanted was to clear his thoughts.

He soon visited every area within his house, his bathroom, his own room, the laundry room, the kitchen, and the living room. He'd circle around back and forth, but as everything, it was to no avail.

After a thorough walk through his home, he stopped within his kitchen. Pausing to catch a glimpse of something he might've seen. He could see a shadow stretched across the floor. The point of origin was within the living room, as if someone was inside. He immediately turned away and remained within the kitchen.

'It's only my imagination…it's not real…'

He spotted the box of tea, immediately he took out several bags and began warming up a pot of water on his stove top. He knew not whether these would actually would work, but there was no time like the present to find out.

Sounds began to make themselves evident to him, the floor creaking as if someone else walked around, things began shifting, and soft but audible thumps within the walls.

Eddward's anxiety rose every time each noise surfaced, he began to close his eyes, constraining his mind to focus on something else. It seemed as if forever, but his tea finished. Immediately he poured himself a cup, and he eased into the wooden stool, but had to wait for his tea to cool. He didn't want to burn himself in an attempt to rid of a few sounds.

However, after a while, the sounds didn't resurface, and he was starting to calm. He wrapped his hands around the cup, and then sipped the warm tea.

After some period of time, he finished, and placed the cup within his sink.

He returned to his sofa;

She was right it seemed, he felt calmer. Maybe it could've actually granted him peace of mind.

He eased into his seat, and closed his eyes. Though moments later, flames were in his eyes. And the heat was beginning to burn. Edd immediately shook the image from his mind, and fought for it to remain veiled.

'_Stop fighting Eddward. Let this come unto you. You've been fighting for five months, and it's lead you nowhere.'_

"I-I can't!"

'_Why let this control you? It's been directing your life for far too long.' _

Eddward started taking deep breaths,

"Because, I can't watch him die again. I-I just can't..."

'_Allowing it to run it's course is the only way to repair what's been broken. To forgive a transgression committed long ago…'_

_"_how do you know?"

_'We learn from mistakes. How can we learn from them, if we choose to ignore them? You'll make the same mistake again repetitively.'_

"b-but..."

_'At first, you might remember the grief. Know this, you'll never get over it. But you will get through it...If you let it continue...'_

He began to slightly loosen his tense muscles, and a faint glimpse of flames reappeared.

'_Let it flow…'_

Eddward hesitated, but his defense gradually dropped, and the vision was given to him.

Flames surrounded him, the heat was mercilessly charring the wreckage. He tasted copper as thick rivers of blood ran down his face. The door propped ajar, and crawled into the open. He strained severely as he rose to his feet, but once he was erect, he hobbled to the other side of the inverted car.

He dropped to his knees by the passenger side, and glanced inside. Ed's eyes were rolling to the back of his head, a gash had opened his skull, and already blood pooled unto the roof of the car.

Eddward shoved his arms through the broken window, gripping Ed's jacket. With his full strength, he attempted to pull him from the wreckage. But in his weakened state, Ed didn't even budge.

But before any further attempts could be made, several arms wrapped around his chest, and pried him loose from the wreckage. Edd screamed with whatever was left of his voice at the people smothering his only chance to save Ed.

But soon an explosion ruptured the car and it left Eddward deaf and with a painful ring in his ears. His face filled with horror and shock as he witnessed one of his best friends consumed by a fire. His eyes filled with tears, and as they fell, they mingled with the blood. He wept sorely, crying while crumpled unto the pavement.

Then soon the vision disappeared, and the sounds died down. Eddward woke up in a familiar setting. At first thought, he couldn't tell what it was. He removed himself from the bed, then searched around this universe. Memories flooded in his mind, and soon his eyes widened.

"No…I can't be…"

He glanced outside his window, houses lining up in a circle around an empty street. This was the cul-de-sac.


	5. Chapter 5

**I wanted to apologize in advance for this chapter. It's a bit rushed, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't have too much time to complete it, so I did what I could. I apologize once again. On that note, I'll leave you guys to it. Enjoy.**

Chapter 5

'what am I doing here?'

Eddward thought to himself.

'_I believe you are to amend what's been broken.'_

'Is that it? But why the cul-de-sac? It was only good memories here, nothing tragic occurred here…'

'_That, I do not know. Perhaps you should explore and find out.'_

Eddward didn't reply, he noticed his surroundings beginning to change. The sky began blending into a deep gray. Dark as if a storm was ready to pursue. But it cracked, and pieces fell to the earth.

He didn't know the reason, more than likely he forgot, but he felt a sudden burst of nostalgia as the sky cracked.

Soon, the color of things began to fade as well, everything becoming decrepit and a dark stone gray.

Edd watched in bewilderment, as the colors that once made this area vibrant and alive, now was gone, leaving it dark and depressing. Currently, Eddward couldn't find anyone else, and due to the sudden changes, he wasn't sure if he had wanted to.

'_Remaining up here won't do much good either…'_

'Voice, at some times, you may be useful. But now, please only say things that matter…'

Eddward walked from his window, and into his old hallway. He began to remember many things he had done in his youth, especially within his own home. But he continued on, knowing he had something to do rather than recalling his youth.

As he entered his living room, more memories flooded in. Images flashed of a time when they continuously spun Ed as his finger was wedged within a bottle that turned out to be a relic of the Kankers.

A smile crept upon his face, remembering the adrenaline and shock as he opened the door to all three of them, loitering around his door, knowing they had something that belonged to them.

'_I know it must be invigorating, remembering your eventful youth, but we need to continue forth.'_

'yes…you're right…'

Eddward clutched the door knob, and with a twist, revealed the outside world. He soon felt a bit nervous as he entered the darkness. Ultimately, there was nothing, nothing but a dead silence that lurked around.

Everything seemed completely lifeless, the only things which did move was Eddward.

He stopped as he reached the sidewalk, and glanced around. Still, everything else, was gray and dull.

"Do you think I'm inside my mind?"

As his sentenced finished, he jumped at it's echo. He could hear it resounding off the walls of houses and further down the street. As it went out of earshot, he continued.

"I was thinking, it might represent me in a way. I was broken after the accident, do you think I returned here? For slight comfort?"

'_It does seem reasonable, but why would your youth be broken if nothing ever occurred here? But later on?'_

Eddward began pondering his question. He didn't know the answer.

'_Neither do I, so let's continue…'_

His voice seemed rather eager to continue, but he let the thought slip away and he grew further. He began walking around routes he knew fairly well, but nothing came out of them.

He checked the areas where anyone was commonly found. The park, The junkyard, The beach, or in alleyways.

But still nothing was of any interest, and nobody seemed to anywhere. He was beginning to lose ideas, but the voice came up with something.

'_Do you think they're within their own homes?'_

It was a good idea, Eddward knew it to be. But for some reason, he found utmost dread about going inside the dormant houses. Their appearance alone looked horrible. But he mustered his courage and ventured back to the cul-de-sac.

Upon arrival, he was nearest to Eddy's house. He took a few deep breaths then continued.

He arrived at the door, and assumed ringing the bell would get him no where. So he eased the door open, it creaked loudly in protest.

As if everything else, the interior was the same dark and dull gray. Goosebumps settled in, and fear knotted in his stomach. He felt the strongest urge not to enter.

'_Everything is lifeless, isn't it? What can harm you?'_

'We don't know that, looks can be deceiving.'

After a span of a few minutes, he mustered his courage to take the first step. As he pressed down, nothing occurred. He inched in another foot. Still nothing. His confidence rose, and soon he was completely inside the house.

As he quietly moved about, he would often jump at sounds he produced. Though having not realized it until moments later.

He peered into an empty living room, not a soul there but him. His next thought was the kitchen until he realized Eddy might've been in his own room.

At first thought, he was hesitant to actually encounter him. He didn't know what this world could've done to him. But he swallowed his apprehension and followed through.

He made his way through the house and near his door, where he gently eased it forward. At first sight, Edd froze with fear. A cold chill was sent down his spine as the hairs on the back of his neck stood.

But as he realized he was completely immobile, he regained his ability to move. He inched forward, attempting to see whether he was actually real and capable of seeing Edd.

Eddy was just like the rest of this world, colors completely faded, and lifeless. But he sat on the food of his circular bed, his face buried within his palms. He wasn't moving at all, nor did it seem he was even alive. But a statue forever posing within a position.

Eddward inched closer, with slight reluctance, he extended his arm to make contact. His finger scarcely touched the cloth of his shirt before he immediately jerked it back. As nothing happened, he somewhat relaxed. Knowing he was of no threat.

He then touched Eddy's body, it wasn't abrasive, like he expected. But his finger sunk in, revealing it was real skin.

Eddward then rested his hand on top of Eddy's head, immediately his mind clouded with a vision. Eddy was in a car; driving. He could read his thoughts, and see the extent of what ailed him.

Eddy was deep within depression as Edd, but he was more indifferent towards himself than Edd ever was. He had long hair which was relatively unkempt, his lips and chin was covered with stubble, and his eyes were bloodshot.

'Insomnia.' Eddward thought.

Though Edd hadn't known where Eddy's destination lie, he could see he was far out of the city. Mountains rose in the distance and large evergreen trees towered overhead.

Eddy reached inside the breast pocket of his red collared shirt; pulling out a cigarette. He rose it to his mouth, then whipped out a zippo. With a few sparks, his cigarette lit and he inhaled, soon exhaling a white billow of smoke through his nostrils.

'He's been reduced to smoking. How else has he been affected?'

Eddward thought once more, his remorse and pity for Eddy grew.

But the vision was broken as Eddward's pressure on his head weakened. Edd lifted his hand away from Eddy, his mind engrossed about his friend. For a minute, he remained there. Wishing he could do something, what exactly; he didn't know.

With slight reluctance, he continued on. Upon leaving the vacant house, he decided he was going to enter Ed's house.

If making amends was his purpose of being here, then Ed was the one he needed to see. But fear twisted in his stomach, and his legs weakened as he grew near to his home.

His pace slowed and soon he came to a halt just before Ed's front door. His body shivering with fear and apprehension. He took multiple deep breaths before clearing his mind and entering the house. The door opened and he managed to take a few steps in.

But as the nostalgia settled in, so did the pain. Mixed feelings slammed into him, making him lose balance. He almost lost composure, but he stiffened his muscles and squeezed his fists.

He began making his way through the house, sometimes glancing off to items which invoked bittersweet memories. He tried his best not to look off at them, but the urges were too strong. Through several times he trailed off, he finally reached his terminus.

But, he remained dormant within the doorway which lead to the fleet of stairs. He swallowed his apprehension once more.

He took a step down, the wooden board creaking loudly in protest as pressure was applied. After another short period of time, another step was taken. And soon he was continuing down further with no trouble.

But as he reached the bottom, he froze in front of Ed's door. His hand reached out, but not making contact with the door knob. Edd's hand was shaking uncontrollably, and sweat began running down his forehead. Knowing he'll never enter this room with his own conscious thought, he cleared his mind and jerked his hand forward.

He grasped the knob and shoved the door open. His eyes were closed at first, but as he slowly reopened them, nothing. He recognized the layout of the room, but Ed was nowhere to be seen. He took a few steps, glancing around each corner. He checked within his bathroom, still nothing.

Ed's room was empty. But why?

'Where could he be? Why isn't he here?'

'_Oh my…'_

'What? What is it?'

'_I've had a thought to where Ed might be.'_

'Where's that?'

'_If he isn't here, this only one other place I can think of you haven't been yet.'_

'But where haven't I-'

Eddward trailed off, his sudden realization cut him off. His heart sank as the thought sunk further into his conscious.

'_He's there….at-'_

'Juniper and 4th street.'


	6. Chapter 6

**In this chapter, I wanted to mention something, Ed might appear to be more intelligent than usual. I apologize for that, I had no other way to write it than this. **

Chapter 6

His pace gradually picked up to a walk, his fear and apprehension rose. Causing uncontrollable muscles spasms within his body, beads of sweat trickled down his head. And his breathing was almost erratic.

He began recalling the street names near it, and remembering the carved path he took that day.

'_We're almost there…'_

'yeah.'

It was odd, the voice never tried to make small talk. Maybe, it had an inch of what he was feeling, though it was still capable of hiding it within his voice.

His eyes crawled upon the intersection, already he was beginning to slow down.

'Calm yourself Eddward…It's Ed…He wouldn't hurt a fly…'

As he grew closer towards his destination, the more details came into view. The car was inverted, and colorless flames raged away. His throat tightened, and he began choking, he leaned forward, loosing several hard coughs.

He leaned unto his knees, his hands and legs shaking. He took time to breathe, then straightened up his back. Regardless of his body's reactions, he continued on.

Eddward was pried away and the explosion once again ruptured the car. As these events unfolded once again before his eyes, it was inaudible. Which he was quite grateful for, he'd rather not have recalled the terrible screams.

He saw Ed, sitting down on the sidewalk nearest to the event. He himself watching the whole thing unfold.

Eddward's mind was telling him to move, but his legs were frozen. He didn't want to move forward and meet the cause of his grief, a friend who died because of him.

'_amend what's broken…'_

'I-I will…'

Eddward finally willed himself to inch forward. Goosebumps and shivers were sent through his back. Ed had no coloration, like the rest of this world. He sat there, blankly staring at his death scene.

Edd began shivering as he was nearing, his breathing now was fully erratic. Ed glanced over his side, and began to rise to his feet.

Eddward immediately halted, every muscle freezing as Ed turned and faced him.

For several moments, this exchange was kept. Ed's cold blank eyes into Edd's fearful ones.

Not a word was spoken, their body language told all that was necessary. But for this few moments, Edd had tears welling up.

"Hello…."

Ed's emotionless voice resonated through the empty world. Eddward broke eye contact, attempting to sustain his composure. He began slow deep breaths as his eyes crawled back up towards Ed.

"E-Ed…"

He swallowed a lump in his throat. Still, Ed staring at him with expressionless eyes.

"I-I'm sorry Ed…"

The tears began falling as he continued on.

"I'm s-sorry Ed…I…I couldn't save you…"

He glanced away for a moment, but he held no response. Ed continued his blank stare into Eddward.

"I-I'm sorry. I AM sorry…"

Still no reaction.

"What? What can I say? Ed? _What _can I say!? I could've saved you! But I couldn't!"

Ed hadn't reacted. He only stared at Edd as he continued on. He rose his voice, his emotions all coming forth.

"I let you die! Okay? And I didn't do anything about it! I watched you burn away! But I was too dumb to do anything! I was scared but I tried all that I could!"

Ed did nothing else. Edd began crying as he raged on, his voice breaking.

"What do you want from me! I said everything that I kept locked away for five months! I gave you my apologies, I blamed myself, what more could you want?"

Nothing.

Eddward moved forward.

"Forgive me! I said everything I could! Just say something! Something!"

He moved even closer to Ed, who kept his glance on him. He even went close enough to throttle him.

"Please Ed! Please say something! Say you understand! Say you forgive-me. Say-something…"

Ed did nothing. But continued his stare.

Eddward turned away and began crying on his arm. He couldn't help it, his sobs continued on. Echoing through the emptiness, the sounds resonating off the walls.

For a strain of minutes it continued on, Eddward's sobs were beginning to die down. As he lowered his head and kept his eyes to the floor, finally Ed became animate.

"How…can I forgive you?"

Edd glanced back up towards Ed, who's expression was almost cold.

"If you didn't do anything that wronged me?"

"But…Ed, I-"

"Did nothing…you blamed yourself Double D. I was thinking why, because you didn't do anything wrong."

"No, I killed you Ed…"

"wrong…you didn't get hit on purpose, you didn't put a fire on the car, and you didn't crawl away from it. You tried Double D, and I think that's worth it…"

Eddward was speechless, he didn't know what to say to him.

"It's alright Double D, you don't need to say anything. Just know you were not blamed by anyone but yourself, and I wasn't angry with you. I only hoped you would quit being depressed."

Ed's hand rested upon Eddward's shoulder, and he glanced up at him.

"But if it makes you happy, I forgive you Double D."

He finished with a slight smile, Soon, embracing him. Eddward was almost surprised, but he returned it. He now began smiling, and he had tears once again. But he restrained them.

He closed his eyes, his body beginning to surge with relief, as a heavy weight of guilt began to lift itself from his shoulders. He finally felt peaceful and tranquil, something he hadn't experienced in the longest time.

The amends were finally made.

Eddward lied motionless on his floor. His breathing patterns just now quitting and his heart coming to end. His eyes remained shut, and he remained there for days.

After some time, the discovery of his body took place, after failed attempts of reviving him at the E.R., they brought him into the coroner's office. The coroner performed an autopsy and confirmed his suspicions.

Due to extreme depression and insomnia, He suffered a heart disease. Leading to cardiac arrest.

After wrapping up his operation, he put him within the morgue. Days later, the news hit Eddy, and Edd's family.

Eddy arrived at the funeral, opening the doors that lead to the interior of the church. Several eyes looked upon his entry, he then shut the door behind him, beginning his walk down the lane.

Avoiding eye sight with others, his eyes crawled upon the casket. It was adorned with several bouquets and single flowers. He stiffened his back and restrained tears from falling.

The casket was now in front of him, he slowly shifted his eyes towards Eddward. His face was calm, and his skin pale.

Tears fell as Eddy clenched his fists, and lowered to his knees. He gripped the side of the casket as he shut his eyes.

"How could you? Sock head?"

He stifled his sobs, after a moment of silence, he reopened his eyes, glancing at his solemn face.

"how could you do this to me?"

'_Rest in peace…Eddward..'_


End file.
